Masters of the Universe
Jan 9
Happy Thanksgiving
Nov 25
A Clearer Vision
Aug 19
Artist BW was able to interpret my fevered visions and prophecies into a more concise image of things to come. Thank You BW for your sight beyond sight.
Little Big Planet 2
Jan 19
I wanted to take a moment to talk seriously, please do not be afraid. I want to make known my love of Little Big Planet. This game by Media Molecule is simply the most charming piece of entertainment you will ever experience. The hand-made art style perfectly compliments the touch of love in the levels crafted by people like you and me. My wife and I have played the game since it’s release right up until the release of the sequel which is today.
Our love of Little Big Planet has made things associated with it fun too! So since she was working late tonight I created a scavenger hunt that she will have to complete to find the game when she gets home. Do not worry though Sackboy is helping her along the way. He has even sent her text messages about the freshly baked points (cookies) waiting for her.
The Chihuahua, a lap dog and friendly companion, or greatest predator in the Americas? It is a question of numbers really. In single digit groups the Chihuahua can be one of man’s best friends, but when their number in a given location increases so does their power. One needs look no further than the history of this great nation to know the truth about the Chihuahua.
The Chihuahua by nature is a pack animal and it works very cohesively as part of a familial unit. This pack mentality made the Chihuahua a serious threat to the life of pioneers in the early Americas. Eye witness reports often described how a pack of several hundred Chihuahuas could engulf a herd of buffalo and leaving nothing behind but the cleanly picked bones. These skeletons were a clear warning sign to travelers. Those who ignored the signs could soon find themselves with no meat from the knees down, appropriately earning the dogs a moniker that sticks with them to this day, Ankle Biters.
Paosiceca was the name given to the Chihuahua packs by the Lakhota Indians who lived in the heart of Chihuahua territory. The name translated means “Biter Storm”. The storm part of this name refered to the way that the Chihuahuas would kick up dirt and dust around them to hide their numbers. From a distance the pack movement looked like a low moving sandstorm. As the Lakhota learned to read these coming tides of Chihuahuas they would quickly retire to their teepees. Safety could be found within thanks to the Lakhota covering the teepees with the juice of the Opuntia (commonly called the prickly pear cactus) which would deter the pack. To this day Chihuahuas have an unexplained genetic allergy to this plant.
The influence of Chihuahua packs can be seen on the famous Lewis and Clark expedition. Looking at a map of the expedition you can clearly see that the expedition was forced north due to the migration patterns of the Chihuahuas. Not only was there the threat of being set upon by a pack, but also the amount of game in the area was greatly reduced as the Chihuahuas quenched their unrelenting appetites. As a result, harsher winter weather became the preferred enemy of early pioneer travel, even on the famed Oregon Trail.
The Path of the Lewis and Clark Expedition
Things may never have changed if not for the bravery and ingenuity of entrepreneur Victor Prosper. Victor was the second son of Earle Prosper and traveled to the United States from England at the age of twenty-two to carve out a piece of the land he knew was ripe for the taking. Ignoring the warnings of locals he hired a band of fearless men and with his new fiance Claire Pendleton set off for the west. Charting a direct route to California, Victor’s path would quickly cross the main habitat of the Chihuahuas.
The trip started off wonderfully as the land was much easier to traverse. The mild weather helped in keeping a strong pace. Three weeks into their travels a sandstorm was seen blowing over the rise. Victor and the others wrapped their faces, but continued on. Before they could properly react a Chihuahua pack had engulfed them. The Chihuahuas swarmed Victor’s men and horse with alarming speed. Victor grabbed Claire’s arm and began to flee on foot. Soon the Chihuahuas were upon them. Claire was easily brought down by the tide. Victor quickly kicked at the dogs, but for each one he knocked away two more took it’s place. Pushed by adrenaline and fear Victor managed to climb a cactus. It was an act which saved his life, but his right leg from the knee down was gone filling the bellies of the Chihuahuas.
Victor Prosper 1848
Victor was fortunately found by a Lakhota scout and was nursed back to health by the Lakhotan people. In his time with the Lakhota tribe Victor learned a great many things about the behaviors of the Chihuahuas. While healing, Victor worked up a plan. The death of Claire made it clear that the Chihuahua threat must be neutralized for the progression of humanity. In 1847, Victor worked with the Lakhota tribe to contain the Chihuahuas. At first extermination was his plan, but when separating the pack into smaller groups Victor found that they could be quite trainable and intelligent.
Soon Victor was shipping these exotic pets out of his office in Vermont all around the world while also taming the great west. The new business was such a boon to its economy the hometown of his office was renamed Victory in his honor. Thanks to Victor’s work the South Alternate of the Oregon Trail (also called the Snake River Cutoff) was developed as a spur off the main trail allowing travel in the once deadly Chihuahua Territories.
The unusual nature of the early Chihuahuas have fueled many legends from our past including the speculation of the disappearance of the Roanoke Island colony. Could a pack of Chihuahuas made it that far east? And what of the supposed Chupacabra attacks to farm animals around the most southern areas of the United States, only the bones are left behind. Perhaps a pack of wild Chihuahuas still exists? Maybe the deadly nature of the Chihuahua is why we can find sculptures of them in Mayan and Incan temples, they were most likely worshiped and feared as gods. Next time you are watching your cute little companion and you see him kicking his feet remember, this is instinct, an instinct that was a sign of the oncoming Biter Storm.
Target Steele
Dec 12
What I am doing here is judging a book by its cover. Simply by viewing the cover and having no other knowledge I have painstakingly reconstructed what I believe to be an excerpt from that book.
BOOM!! The battle-jeep exploded from a laser-blast unleashed from the now smoking arm-mounted DPN 5000 blast-laser cannon. Steele did not have time to let the high-tech weapon cool, he opened fire again slowing the advance of Killian’s men. The Navox employees that Steele had been assigned to rescue were nearly out of the path of danger when danger struck. That danger was in the form of a robo-missile a missile with robo-arms and legs.
This was not the first time Steele had tangled with a robo-missile, “I’ll show you what robo means!” thought Steele. Quickly taking to the sky with his back-jets, Steele met the monstrosity head on. He was a perfect blend of man and machine as his quick wits allowed him to slip past the robo-missile’s grip and hold it in a firm full-nelson while driving it’s business end toward the ground. Killian’s men scattered as the missile descended into its rapid decent. Unleashing the missile at the last possible moment Steele pulled away and shielded his eyes from the micro-nuclear explosion.
“Target Steele, he must not escape!” shouted Number One, Killian’s number one commander. Coughing and dusting themselves off, Killian’s men caught only a brief glimpse of Steele and the Navox employees as they entered the jungle of Neo Jersey. “But Number One, we are not equipped to handle jungle combat, especially in the jungle of Neo Jersey” stated one of the soldiers. Off-handedly shooting the soldier who spoke up Number One growled “I know, and I also know Killian will have our balls for this!”
Chapter 2
“I’ll have your balls for this!” roared Damon Killian, the failure of Number One his number one commander was not something he stomached well. “If we do not kill the employees of Navox the company stock will never fall, and if the stock does not fall what happens?” Damon eyed Number One. “You will not be able to buy a controlling interest in the company and use its bio-medical drug research to extend your noble commie empire, SIR!” Number One recited while standing at full attention.
Damon smiled, “You have not dealt with Steele like I have. You were not there at Eagle Mountain Cliff.” Damon sighed and sat down in his solid gold leather chair “This here” he said pulling off his artificial titanium nose “Steele said I would cut off my own nose to spite my face, he then showed me what he meant.” Reattaching the nose with a resounding click “This is my reminder that Steele plays by his own rules, but soon he will play by mine.” Slamming his fist on a massive red button on his desk a massive relief of Killian’s own face at the rear of his office chambers began to open. “Sir, your face” stuttered Number One “My face indeed” smirked Damon. The hidden door opened to reveal something that had been but whispered about, the means for creating a HIGHER tech army. Damon began a maniacal commie laugh.
Chapter 3
Passing through the rubble and overgrowth common in the jungles of Neo Jersey the Navox employees that were under Steele’s care had a hard journey ahead of them. More than once they were set upon by land-devils, far more vicious than tree-devils, land devils could not turn into wind but instead ate human flesh. Steele fought the land-devils bravely, using the firepower of a high tech army he was able to over come there numbers. Being a survivor Steele taught the Navox employees how to clean and prepare land-devils for eating.
While finding solace amongst some cave ruins the group found a dying man. “Who are you!” demanded Steele. Quickly stopping Steele’s aggression toward the dying man was Navox employee Denise Johnson. She was office hot and in her twenties. The glasses she wore led Steele to believe she was smart for a girl, so he listened. “This is Bob Morton he was in charge of R&D and research.” “How long have you been here?” Denise asked. Bob sputtered “Two…maybe three days.” “Listen!” Bob said, “We were working on something, something that Killian may now have. We were developing a serum that in theory could create a HIGHER tech army.”
At hearing this Steele quickly turned away. Denise lept to his side sensing his distress “What is the matter Steele?” Steele remained unresponsive, being the perfect combination of man and machine meant that his emotions could not easily overcome him. Denise continued “ Are you worried about Killian’s possible new forces?” Steele with his eyes to the sky simply said “I know I have the firepower of a high-tech army, but will that be enough!”
Today I was eating a Tootsie Roll and I noticed that the package said “a low fat candy since 1896”. I began wondering why this was on there and what happened in 1896 that changed the recipe. So after a few Google searches and a Wikipedia article later I would like to share some of my findings.
First of all the Tootsie Roll was actually introduced in 1829, the early part of the industrial revolution. At this time many people were living in cities and less on farms, however due to Catholic faith and a society not ready for the direction the world was headed was faced with a great surplus of children. While they were put to work in the factories of old many suffered injuries and were handicapped causing a burden on society. The children could not simply stop working as there were always more babies coming up right behind them that had to be fed.
One man saw not a problem, but an opportunity, that man was Earle Prosper (of the Prosper family known as some of the greatest entrepreneurs since the 18th century). A wealthy factory owner, Earle had already established a reputation for very efficient factories by building adjacent orphanages allowing for a steady flow of labor and a solid education for the youth. However an unfortunate accident in one textile factory left most of the young workforce with horrible injuries and the factory out of commission. Prosper was losing money for the first time in his life supporting useless children and paying for all the repairs. In addition what work force remained was being worked to the bone and Prosper had to shell out more money for sugary treats to keep the working kids energy up.
Well Earle called on all the great knowledge of his family lineage, and a solution was born. Purchasing an old meat processing plant Earle Prosper promised new work to the handicapped children of the orphanage. Once the orphans arrived at the new plant they were impressed by the modernization, it even included conveyor belts to move the children around. As the children rode the belts and admired the place they began hearing screams as the first of them were dropped feet first into a large grinding device patented by John Gibley. A security cage around the conveyor that was designed for “safety” actually prevented escape. The child chum created by Gibley’s device was mixed with a cocoa powder and sugar base, pushed through a heated tube, and chopped into small rolls. The name Tootsie Rolls actually came from the method of dropping the children feet first, or by their “tootsies”.
These Tootsie Rolls were soon the number one choice for factories using child labor as they were cheap provided energy and a method for disposing of damaged children. The business was a great success and many claim that the Tootsie Roll is one of the main reasons for the success of the Industrial Revolution. Now what does this have to do with the “a low fat candy since 1896” quote that I was curious about? Those who have seen movies such as Warlock already have an idea.
With the rate that Earle Prosper’s plant (now operated by his son Mark Prosper) was churning out Tootsie Roll at an astounding rate and they were being shipped world wide quality was becoming a concern. At this time about the end of 1894 America’s 24th president William McKinley was have heated debates with Wiccanas (a nation of Witches) that inhabited what we know today as Canada. The witches would cause problems from time to time, but could almost always be held to their borders. That is until they received their first shipment of Tootsie Rolls.
Being made of the bodies of orphans the Tootsie Rolls of course contained the fat of children and not all of these children were properly baptized. The fat of an unbaptized child instills the powers of flight in those that worship the dark lord, and soon the entire nation of Wiccanas was an Air Force to be reckoned with. They began assaulting the northern borders of the US and led to the Wic-America Conflict. Luckily with his prior experience in both the Civil War and the Spanish American War, McKinley was able to keep the witches at bay until their supply of Tootsie Rolls was extinguished. With the witches defeated president McKinley had to cut the head off of the snake. After suing the Prosper family for the damages done and the use of unbaptized children, the Tootsie Roll empire crumbled.
Part of the payment included the Tootsie Roll name which McKinley took for himself, and began creating the sweet treats that we know today. He removed the danger of witch flight by making them “a low fat candy since 1896”.
